Tips on writing action.

[spaceham]

If you read my 'Guy in a Room' script you probably know I need help on this. When I write action scenes I don't want to just put up 'Gun fire ensues'. I have a very specific scene in mind and I want to convey that. Unfortunately I always end up writing a novel instead of a screenplay. Any tips?

[ickle_jim]

best advice i think of is go read the script for die hard or other similar films. That way you get to see how the pros do it.

[miker]

be succinct; concise and terse -- but not at the expense of a reader losing interest. very difficult balance!

also, white space can be your friend, makes stuff easier to read.

but when you get down to that level of detail, it's really no longer a script for actors to read.

so maybe just write the actions down and hand them over to your choreographer ;-)

[Mods]

Here's a couple of action sequences how I write them...

SCENE 9, KRYBURG TOWERS – NIGHT
[We see an exterior shot of the large towers in the darkness (Oxford Science Park), we then see three figures moving towards them, Wells, Stone and Di?th. Wells and Diath are now in military gear, but Stone remains in civilian, but dark, clothes. They look up at the buildings.]

Di?th: Dawson’s got some nerve.

Stone: These are the new mayor’s offices, it makes sense that he’d try and blow them up.

Wells: If he’s in there, we’ll find him. Stone, you think you can handle any kind of device he’s got rigged up in there?

[Stone looks at him, unsure.]

Stone: Well, I sure can try.

[A SWAT team leader comes up to them.]

Moors: We’re ready to move in, sir.

Wells: He could be in either building. We’ll take this one, I want your men in the other. If you find anything, let us know immediately. Here, take this radio.

[He hands him a radio.]

Moors: Got ya. Okay men, let’s move!

[He signals to his men (off camera) who then run over to the other building. Our three watch them.]

Di?th: Let’s get this son of a ***** .

[They run toward their building. The camera follows them, they get to the door, open it and run inside. Cut to inside the building, we see the guys looking around. Cut to the other building, we see the swat team outside. They move in. Cut back to the other guys, they burst into a room, and see a briefcase.]

Stone: Hold it guys...

[Stone walks over to it, and opens it up. Sure enough, inside is a bomb. We cut to the SWAT team, one guy looks in a cupboard. Nothing in it. He signals to the others (or says) he’s going to try the next level. Cut back to the others.]

Stone: **** .

Di?th: Can you disarm it? You can disarm it, right?

Stone: Sure I can... Wells, gimme that radio.

[Wells hands him the radio, Stone opens it up and takes the batteries out, fiddles with the bomb and places them in it. It disarms.]

Stone: Too easy.

Wells: Huh?

[Cut back to the SWAT team. We see one guy going up the stairs, the others waiting on the stairs as back up. He enters a room. Cut back to our guys.]

Stone: It’s like a decoy or something, **** , I don’t even think it is a bomb.

Wells: That doesn’t make sense.

Di?th: It makes sense to me. He blew up one mayor’s office last time, why shouldn’t he blow up two this time?

Wells: This is crazy...

Stone: There must be another one somewhere...

Wells: But where?

[He looks up, and over, the camera pans back from his face. We cut to behind him, through the window near him we see the other building, some torches flashing around inside. Cut back to Well’s worried face.]

Wells: Holy mother of God...

[Cut to Wells running down the stairs, the other two following, he tries the radio.]

Wells: Moors, Jesus Christ get your men out of there, NOW!

[He remembers the batteries were taken out, and throws it on the floor.]

Wells: **** !

[Cut to a lone swat team guy. We hear heavy breathing. He opens another cupboard, and right there is a very large bomb. Cut to Wells and co coming out of the other building shouting. Cut back to the SWAT guy. He brings the radio up to his mouth slowly. Cut to exterior shot of the whole building erupting and exploding. Cut to Wells and co flying back in the explosion. Cut.]

-------------------------------------------------

SCENE 16 – DIATH’S CARAVAN
[We see Di?th walk toward his caravan, when he notices the door is open. He pulls out his gun and walks carefully along the side of the caravan. He enters and looks around, but doesn’t see anyone. He notices his TV is on, but it’s just showing static. He looks puzzled, then looks up again and turns round quickly. We see a shot from behind Di?th, Cusack holding a gun out, shoots him with one shot into the belly. Di?th falls backwards.]

Cusack: Sorry buddy, needed my C4.

Di?th: You...!

[Di?th lies on the floor in pain, holding his bleeding gut, his hands covered in blood. He can’t talk as he has been winded. He watches Cusack leave. He looks over to the phone.]

m0ds

[spaceham]

thanks a lot, i needed that.